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The Weekend Sloth – Darby Rae

The Weekend Sloth

Last Monday my teens wrangled me into adopting a charming and energetic ‘free ferret’ from the pet store…complete with food, cage and toys.  They begged, pleaded and promised; I denied.  They pledged; I vetoed.  They appealed and negotiated; I hesitated, then firmly counter negotiated.  They agreed to my five non-negotiable terms, each signed in permanent black marker, and voila…newest member of the family: Nixon the ferret.

This past weekend, however, I was not energetic like our new family member, Nixon.  I was a sloth, the world’s slowest moving mammal, moving only when necessary; perfect description of me this weekend.  They move 6 to 12 feet per minute, depending on the species.  I moved 6 to 12 feet per minute depending if I was entering or exiting a restaurant (12 fpm for entering…6 fpm for exiting).  Saturday was Ruby Tuesday’s all you can eat soup and salad (nothing that begins with ‘all you can eat’ is good for me, by the way).  Sunday was Bob Evan’s country fried steak, mashed potatoes, gravy, country green beans…oh yes.

My omnivore diet varies from the sloth’s herbivore diet, but I am certain more similarities exist.  As much as two-thirds of a well-fed sloth’s body-weight consists of the contents of its stomach, and the digestive process can take a month or more to complete.  So much for bathing suit weather…maybe I should create my own “Sloth-line Swimwear,” a tad catchier than the tank-ini.

Sloths rarely come down from their tree; I barely came down from my room.  Sloths can sleep up to 18 hours a day and I can read and write for easily that long.  I caught up on some emails, read a few blogs, and did some research for Killer Coordinates (my next novel).  But in the spirit of total relaxation and rejuvenation, I read fiction most of the weekend.

Anybody else rejuvenate sloth style last weekend?…anyone?…anyone?…just me?


  1. Samantha Daig says

    Do you have a facebook fan page? I found you on FaceBook and Twitter, but could not discover a FB FanPage. I would really like to become a fan!

  2. Nicholas Green says

    Everyone needs a sloth-y weekend now and again. Last weekend was mine.

  3. Samantha–

    Now I have a fan page. Thx for asking!

    Like me please and spread the word

  4. Nothing wrong with slothing. Enjoy your weekend, Darby! 🙂

  5. I’m enjoying it while reading your book “Vigilante.” Your mind is a scary place!

  6. Ohh, sounds like my kind of weekend! (except for the Bob Evans unsanitary steam table food LOL…sorry couldn’t resist that poke:) ) But a nice hearty meal sounds delish right now! So does a big round of doing nothing but working! Have a beautiful rest of the week!

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